How I feel about online dating

Right now there are more people than ever online looking for love. So if you have decided that 2018 is your year to find your significant other it’s time to dust off your dating profile and put yourself out there. (I won’t be but you go ahead.)

Online dating. The name just makes me cringe. The thought of having to create a profile to sell myself like a piece of real estate and then read other peoples profiles and try to decode all the bullshit just seems like way too much work for me. I have limited time and almost no patience so I just don’t think it’s a good fit.

Before you all turn on me and start bashing my opinion-relax- if you are doing it and it’s working for you then have at ‘er. Good luck to you, I know plenty of couples who have met on some sort of online dating site and they’re very happy. So go get ‘em tiger, just don’t ask me to join you.

I’ve always had an aversion to online dating, this probably stems from the many nights that my girlfriends and I spent drinking fireball whiskey from the bottle and calling those chat lines back in the late 90’s and listening to the creepy messages guys would leave. It kind of scarred me for life. When online dating started to become a thing I did give it a go and I met a lovely guy who to this day is still a great friend but we never made it out of the friend zone and other than that diamond in the rough the others where all hugely disappointing.

Many years passed and I shied away from any mention of online dating, just changed the subject every time a conversation went down the inevitable, “so you’re still single, huh? You should get yourself one of those online dating profiles.” Insert me biting my tongue so hard it bled and with clenched fists replying “No. I do pretty well in real life thanks.”

It wasn’t until about 3 years ago now that a guy I had been seeing for 3 years, quite seriously, or so I thought. 3 years is a long time right? Well we were out on one of our weekends away from the kids and sitting talking with another couple that joined us, they had met online, and so a conversation about the pros and cons of online dating began and the guy I had been with for 3 years says, “Ya, it’s not a bad way to meet people. I’m on Tinder.” I’m not totally sure but I think my head spun a full 360 degrees to stare at him in disbelief. “I’m sorry you’re what now?”

It was clearly the end of the evening as I stood up and said my goodbyes to my friends and proceeded to retire to my hotel room. I gently placed HIS things in the hallway and cried myself to sleep, ignoring the constant text messages and phone calls. (I had all of the room keys so unfortunately he couldn’t retrieve his things.)

Out of anger and spite when I got home from our weekend excursion I did sign up on Plenty of Fish. It lasted less than 24 hours. It was a horrible experience from beginning to end. I didn’t put a lot of effort into my profile and slapped up a photo that I probably shouldn’t have. I was inundated with messages, not all of them very nice either. Some guys actually thought that I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion on the type of guy I was looking for. Excuse me but if I’m going to give up my time to meet someone I’m going to have criteria, just like every other person on the site does, including you.

I met 2 people in person, one was clearly not any of the 3 individuals appearing in his profile photo, seriously guys, get it together, put a picture of YOU up. The other guy was quite nice and we did meet in person a few times. It became quite apparent what he was looking for after our second meeting when he started leaving me messages- heavy breathing and all- wanting me to {cringe} guess what he was doing right now. 🤢 I politely declined and stopped responding but I still hear from him on occasion. Usually during the holidays when he asks if he could “slip something in my stocking.” I usually throw up a little in my mouth and go about my day.

So given my short and varied experiences above I don’t see any reason to opt to swipe right or is it left? Anytime soon.

Tell me your stories, I want the good the bad and the ugly. Use the comments below or pop over to Instagram or shoot me an email.

4 Comments

  1. Robert Lovell Rooks

    January 9, 2018 at 2:51 am

    🙂 so much to say, but I won’t! I WILL say, I think you’re being a littLe pessimistic, however.., with the joke that ANY type of dating is this sprays, I don’t really blame you.

    1. admin

      January 12, 2018 at 1:01 am

      I’m not being pessimistic, I’d just rather meet my jerks in a face to face environment where I can judge them immediately rather than having to wait to see that they don’t match their online profile at all 🙂

  2. Margaret

    January 22, 2018 at 3:04 pm

    I can completely relate to what you’re going through. It’s not an easy process, but online dating can result in some happiness. I had online dated for a while and met a few nice guys. Some I had dated for a longer period but they just weren’t the one. I did eventually find my husband when giving online dating a last chance. I was very lucky. There were many frogs and very few princes. At best you meet your man. You may also meet just a new person to chat with over a coffee. At the worst you meet a loser who’s out for a one-night stand/misrepresents himself.

  3. Melveena R

    January 22, 2018 at 10:52 pm

    I laughed a little at this and ended smiling. I actually met my husband from an online dating website. He became my best friend, my hero and they one person who took my broken heart and cared for me. All I ever wanted from a committed partner was to be loved and appreciated. I’m glad I found that! Maybe give OKCupid a try (we did). I was extreme with my beliefs and values and so I either scared off the creeps or was just super honest. All the best to you and if you are looking for love I hope you find it – you deserve it

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