Use your words guys, please

When you get a message from someone you haven’t heard from in a while that contains no words, just that weird little waving hand emoji ( 👋🏻) you didn’t think anyone actually used you roll your eyes and ignore it…provided they’re not also on an Apple device. (Damn you Apple)

He probably saw that I had read his message or I suppose viewed is a more appropriate term. So not taking my non-responsiveness as a hint, again he sent the weird little waving hand emoji. I wanted to send back the eye rolling emoji but then thought no, lead by example and use your words.

With a quick, “Hi. Did you need something?” The exchange went from mildly irritating to downright infuriating in a matter of minutes.

To give you some background, this guy was one I referred to as my boyfriend many many many years ago- back when he was attractive and I was too young and shallow to care that his list of pros ended there. The cons however, well I could probably write an entire series on the list of cons, but I won’t bore you, just know it’s an extensive list.

He’s always been insecure and needing validation of some sort, nothing has changed apparently.

He proceeded to tell me that he’s moved to a new town where he is in demand with the ladies…super, so why are you bothering me?

Then the inevitable line of questioning began, he’s nothing if not predictable, every time we don’t communicate for months or years he starts all conversations with, “So are you married yet?”

Dude, are you new here?

Before I can answer the next question comes…he has a rapid fire sequence of 3 and then he’s done. (Not unlike other aspects of his life)

1. So are you married yet?

2. Have any more babies?

3. Do you like women now?

I can’t even deal.

It’s exasperating, since this delightful exchange I’ve managed to block him on all social media platforms and figured out how to block his phone number so this ex-file should officially be going down in history as the most irritating.

Moral of the story guys- if you feel the need to text your ex ever, just don’t, and when you need to speak to a woman don’t do it with emojis.

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